Processing the Election
We're All in This Together: Growing Through Disagreement
Dear Friends,
As we process this election, regardless of whether our candidate won or lost, here are a few things I am thinking about...
My wife and I sometimes disagree. It's easy to believe that our disagreement is the problem when our real problem is that very belief.
The pain we experience from disagreements with each other does not come from our beliefs about the topic; it comes from our beliefs about each other. Understanding this can change everything.
Disagreements themselves are neutral. They can lead to division or progress. How we *view* our disagreements—and each other in the midst of our disagreement—determines this.
At the end of the day, regardless of who "wins" or "loses" a disagreement, my wife and I are part of the same family.
An alternative to seeing voting—or disagreements—as a means to one party winning and the other losing, we can view it as a negotiation. In a negotiation, there are compromises on both sides—even for the side that "wins"—but the goal is not to defeat the other, it is to come to an agreement so that we can move forward together.
The purpose of voting, negotiating, and even disagreement is unity and progress. If that were not so, we would have no reason to talk—we would just go our separate ways.
A house divided cannot stand... but a house that is unable to tolerate disagreements cannot grow.
When my wife and I finish an argument, sometimes it seems as if one of us has "won" and the other has "lost." In the cases where I am the "winner," I rarely feel like a winner.
Today we woke up as a country having finished negotiations around some incredibly important issues. Those of us whose candidate lost did not "lose," and those whose candidate won did not "win"... we simply made a collective decision. Something adults sometimes have to do.
None of us can possibly know if this collective decision was the right or wrong one. But one thing is certain: the best way to go from here is *forward* and *together*.
The ability to vote is living in a house where there is space for disagreements, enabling forward movement and growth, however clunky.
Today I support and accept my fellow Americans—Republicans, Democrats, and Independents—as part of the family into which I was born.
We're all in this together, if we choose to be.
—Nathan
Originally posted at: https://nathanpeterson.net/processing-the-election
This is tricky my friend. I adore your narratives, your art as I always have. That’s why I support your voice here in the way I can financially right now. I agree with what you’ve shared, and ALWAYS receive downloads from Spirit with the gems that you speak, sing, mediate. I rarely get to pop in and comment our simply heart the current post, but I see them, and have so much respect. As I do with this one. Over time in knowing the song of your heart and how it speaks and as I sense it, the love and the intent that comes from it - I feel welcome too add my voice and perspective here. I want to recognize that I don’t feel safe at all right now in the world. I am terrified. I stand on the strength of my God and my Ancestors as I always have, for my safety. Agreeing with your share here, that no matter the conversation on winning or losing - the situation we are now in, is one of harm. If this is my family, that family is choosing (as I already knew) to bring me harm. Black Americans are already receiving messages sent to their phones, about slavery and that they will be picked up, called by name, and taking to a certain location. My ancestors groan inside of me when I hear this. Every inch of trauma in me clenches when I hear this. Knowing that no matter what, that as I walk this earth, I am in danger for being a creation of the divine. The time I spend in my life thinking on how I will breathe today, takes me a significant amount of time, where there are those that will never have to think on that. I am always, running up a hill with a 100 pound pack on my back, and even in getting to the top sooner and faster than other humans that are not black - I will still be attacked because of my sacred and beautiful ancestry. I think when we’re speaking on the larger family at play here as a country, we have to bring into that metaphor - the toxic element of family. And those in our family that aren’t under threat, MUST protect those that are vulnerable. What it would be like to experience the beauty of this day, and not spend time behind triggered and worried and feeling less, which manifests into my life as lack, and fear. Creating a closed heart, a diseases heart burdened by stress and burdens that aren’t mine to carry. I pray and beg, for those that call me family, to treat me as such, and pray for our protection. We are all beloved. I am beloved. And I know my brother in Christ and friend, would want to know how he can protect those in his family that are “weak”, BECAUSE of the family that never accepted them. A disagreement is healthy, we move forward. To disagree and attack, is another matter altogether. I hope it’s ok, that I met you
in your share here Nathan🙏🏽🙏🏽🤍